Father God, I am broken and poured out
there is nothing left inside me.
For these past moments
my heart expanded in the goodness of your creation,
in the promise of the child within.
Yet now that promise is gone,
and I mourn the loss of a future with this,
your precious little one.
I know you weep with me now,
for you are a father who has felt the pain of loss.
You give good things to your children
and the dreams and desires for this tiny baby
were given by you to grow my heart with your affection
and align our hearts together in the beauty
of your common grace.
Yet these dreams and desires are now gone
and the brokenness of this world
weighs heavy on my shattered soul.
My arms are empty—
Hold my child in your arms, Lord Jesus.
Jesus, though I knew my child but a short while,
you have been intimately aquatinted with them
since before the dawn of time.
In perfect union with the Father and the Spirit,
you knew the moment this life
would intersect with mine.
Your plans for this child were not my plans
but I rest in your purpose for my brokenness
even when I don’t understand it.
As Lazarus rested in the bosom of Abraham, keep my
child until the brokenness of this world is healed forevermore.
Holy Spirit, make known to me your goodness,
for in this time, there is nothing in me
that is not despair.
My intellect tells me you are good,
my empty arms tell my heart another story.
Unite the two together,
heal this broken vessel so that in turn,
my loss would pour into the lives of others.
“When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.” -Revelation 1:17-18